The ridiculous (and hilarious) philosophy of Karl Lagerfeld

You probably don’t know who he is and to be honest, neither did I – I just came across his ‘philosophy’ (he calls his quotes ‘Karlisms’) and found it hilarious. He’s the head designer of fashion house Chanel, and so I don’t suppose you’d expect anything particularly deep from him. But the reason I’m bringing him to your attention is because I don’t like him or what he stands for. He stands for wastefulness – his advice is to constantly change your clothes; for ignorance – of what’s happening in the world – either to ecology or to democracy; for superficiality – the idea that changing your clothes and your appearance is in any way meaningful or profound; for corporate control over the clothing industry; and for a supreme, idiotic lack of awareness about how intelligent people will receive his pearls of wisdom.

I’m encouraging a healthy dose of ridicule for him and for fashionistas generally. When I read his words, I can’t help thinking of Bruno – narcissistic and idiotic, but sadly, Lagerfeld is serious.

Here’s a Karlism:

‘I’m a living label. My name is Labelfeld not Lagerfeld.’

You can just hear Bruno saying that, can’t you?

Many of his quotes are about himself, like:

‘The last thing I’d do is define myself. Tomorrow I could be the opposite of what I am today.’

That’s really good to know, Karl.

He’s keen on ‘change’ too:

‘I’m a fashion person, and fashion is not only about clothes … it’s about all kinds of change.’, and:

‘Change is the healthiest way to survive’

He means changing your style, your clothes, your appearance – the most superficial kind of change imaginable. Any concept of spiritual change, change in our communities, in the economy, in politics is sadly lacking from his inane outpourings.

‘Fashion is a language that creates itself in clothes to interpret reality.’

I don’t have anything to say about this one, but I thought I’d share it with you.

‘I always loved advertising. If I hadn’t been in fashion, I’d have been in advertising.’

Of course you would Karl – did you think we maybe thought you might have done something useful?

And finally, a couple of quotes in which Karl hints that he rates his own intelligence.

‘Life isn’t a beauty contest. Intelligence lasts, youth and beauty are seasonal.’

‘The brain is a muscle, and I’m a kind of body-builder.’

Hiliarious.

Of course, if you’re a follower of this blog, people like Lagerfeld won’t register in your world. But there are plenty of people for whom his quotes actually mean something. And his vacuous comments and pointless work have netted him $125 million, while millions of people who do useful things struggle.

Maybe, just maybe, the future will be different. We’ve recently been approached by a group who are starting a ‘Fibreshed’ for Greater London, which has developed from the Fibershed group in California. The idea is that community-based artisan manufacturers will produce clothes from materials (flax, wool, natural dyes etc.) produced within 150 miles of London, supplemented with imported, Fair Trade, organic cotton. There is also a fledgling UK network developing, with groups in the North and in Bristol and the South-west.

We want to persuade as many people as possible to reject the vacuous, environmentally-damaging, undemocratic, and unhealthy corporate clothing, food and energy industries (as well as everything else produced by the corporate world) in favour of co-operative, community-owned and open source enterprises that don’t insult our intelligence or suck wealth from communities to enrich distant shareholders. We’ll be launching a project to co-ordinate various community-based businesses next year, so that as many people who want to can reject the corporate sector when it comes to the necessities of life. Some people will prefer the Lagerfelds of this world, but there are viable alternatives for those who don’t.

In the meantime, we’d like to help remove any vestige of perceived ‘coolness’ from the likes of Lagerfeld and his idiotic worldview.